I've been busy at work recently, my workload has increased and in the last two weeks I've been covering parts of two other peoples jobs so work has been quite full on. However, I have always made time for what I consider to be a god given right - my mid morning toilet break, until yesterday that is.
I started work and was powering through my to do list, a simple two minute job on the bottom floor at 9:30 was followed by me getting collared to do various different jobs and before I knew it, it was half 11 before I returned to my desk. Still yet to have a cup of tea I powered on with my work. Lunch time came and went and at 2pm it struck me "I haven't been today" and what's worse is that I didn't need too. Straight to the kitchen for a cup of tea, it didn't work so I had two more. Nothing, I still didn't need to go and I was a little devastated that I'd missed my ritual.
Later that evening a friend suggested going for a takeaway, I was hungry so was keen to go but in the back of my mind the idea of a dodgy kebab sitting on top of an unevacuated bowel filled me with excitement. I was surely going to have an epic session come Saturday morning. I returned home about 11pm and felt a slight movement, I wasn't ready to go but it certainly felt like the factory was powering up again. This was baking nicely for the following morning.
I awoke on Saturday morning and had a leisurely breakfast, a nice strong cup of tea and I knew that in 20 minutes everything would be ready. Like clockwork I was ready to go, I let it bake for 5 more minutes before moving to the bathroom. It felt like it was going to be large so it's only natural that I recorded my pre-fight weight.
I sat down to begin to what was going to be a difficult birth. The baby must have turned at the last minute because it felt like it was coming out sideways. It was a tricky one but I soldiered on. About half way through, for the first time in my life, I became extremely jealous of anyone who had been sodomised by a black gentleman. Upon finishing I was disappointed with the result, it was a one log dump of poor length however it had a lot of girth and was extremely dense judging by the splashback when it entered the water. I did my obligatory post-faecal weighing and was underwhelmed with the results, a measly 500g (1.1 lb). The effort put in should have yielded a much larger return.
The disappointment was quickly replaced with a sense of relief that the zero placed on my chart was a one off and that normal service was resumed.
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