When I started this blog I was still living with my parents and working in a deadend job. Now I have my own place and landed myself a decent graduate job. As I left the interview centre on 30th April I thought to myself "I've done it, I have my own place and a half decent career path, I'm a grown up" This thought was quickly brushed aside by the realisation that it was the end of the month and I would need to tally up my turds for the month. Don't worry people I'm not ready to grow up yet, I may now discuss gardening tips with family friends, I may discuss tips for the perfect meatball sauce with the ladies at work but I still have a very large place in my heart for my bowel movements.
April was a big month with 41 poos over the 30 day period which is an average of 1.36PPD - the highest of every month. The consistency of March was a massive contrast to the erratic month of April. Where March saw an 8 & a 7 day streak of singles, Aprils best was 3 single poo days in a row. Additionally, on two occassions in April I hit a total of 3 poos in a day. I recall feeling unwell between the 20th and the 22nd and this was reflected in my bowel movements and I notched up 2-3-2 over the 3 days.
This month contained a lot of birthdays (mine included), the first month living in my own house (and thus being able to walk to the pub) and an interview process so it is not surprising that I have been inconsistent and frequent. Here's hoping normal service is resumed in May.
Did you know?
Despite having a job interview and a history of a nervous stomach I only defecated once on April 30th.
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
Wednesday, 6 May 2015
155) Start as you mean to go on.
I have recently applied for and been interviewed for a new job. The most recent round was little over a week ago. Suffice to say I was extremely nervous beforehand. I caught the early train and the nerves began to kick in, the blender in my bowels was in full swing. At Preston station I made straight for the toilets and unleashed an Armageddon. It was extremely satisfying and stress relieving but that is not the main focus of this post, more a small anecdote to start the day.
Tuesday morning back at the office and I was cracking on with a mundane spreadsheet that had been waiting for me following the bank holiday weekend. I noticed a missed call and a voice mail, it was the recruitment team wanting to discuss my interview. Unable to focus on my work I went to ring them back, I couldn't find anywhere discrete to make the call - I was very keen not to let anyone at work know I'd applied for a job until I'd got it. After a quick wander round the building to try and find somewhere quiet, I abandoned the idea of calling them back and decided to go for a belated morning dump. After dropping the kids off at the pool, I was well into my post-movement browsing when I suddenly realised this was the perfect place. It was quiet, there was good signal and if it was good news I could share it with my one true love, my porcelain princess.
"......and so on that basis we'd like to offer you the job", relief came over me and I suddenly zoned back into the room to realise I was talking to my future employer with an unwiped arse and my pants wrapped round my ankles. They were non the wiser. As the phone call drew to a close I suddenly realised that I would have to say goodbye to a lot of friends but worst of all I would have to say goodbye to the toilet. This toilet is the best toilet I have ever known, it's not a cubicle, it is it's own room nestled away in the building. The low ratio of men to women mean that it is barely used other than by me. The toilet at my new place of work will have a lot to live up to. The salary of my new job will be much higher but it will be hollow and meaningless if the toilet is not up to scratch. Here's hoping.
Tuesday morning back at the office and I was cracking on with a mundane spreadsheet that had been waiting for me following the bank holiday weekend. I noticed a missed call and a voice mail, it was the recruitment team wanting to discuss my interview. Unable to focus on my work I went to ring them back, I couldn't find anywhere discrete to make the call - I was very keen not to let anyone at work know I'd applied for a job until I'd got it. After a quick wander round the building to try and find somewhere quiet, I abandoned the idea of calling them back and decided to go for a belated morning dump. After dropping the kids off at the pool, I was well into my post-movement browsing when I suddenly realised this was the perfect place. It was quiet, there was good signal and if it was good news I could share it with my one true love, my porcelain princess.
"......and so on that basis we'd like to offer you the job", relief came over me and I suddenly zoned back into the room to realise I was talking to my future employer with an unwiped arse and my pants wrapped round my ankles. They were non the wiser. As the phone call drew to a close I suddenly realised that I would have to say goodbye to a lot of friends but worst of all I would have to say goodbye to the toilet. This toilet is the best toilet I have ever known, it's not a cubicle, it is it's own room nestled away in the building. The low ratio of men to women mean that it is barely used other than by me. The toilet at my new place of work will have a lot to live up to. The salary of my new job will be much higher but it will be hollow and meaningless if the toilet is not up to scratch. Here's hoping.
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